Today I remember again a truth of parenting consciously.
Before you became a parent, before you were pregnant, even before you were born, you chose the lessons you wanted to experience in this lifetime, just as your children did. As you selected the lessons, you chose the parents that would best suit the experience you were trying to create, just like your children did. Your parents were perfect: because they taught you through experience of what to do, and what not to do, and more, exactly what you needed to learn and experience to be just where you are today.
And your children chose you in the same way, for the same purpose. Your job is to be perfect- but not the way you think of perfect.
You are perfect when you are exactly who you really are. Your children chose you because of your unique imperfections, so now is not the time to pretend they are not there. Certainly, you still need to “be all you can be” but not if it isn’t real. Your kids know when you’re lying. They can still feel the difference between truth and a lie, and your job is to be truthful in expressing yourself in a way your child can understand.
I cried yesterday. A friend died recently and I’m hurting. I don’t have to pretend everything is ok, because my kids will know it’s not true. I can help them feel secure with their feelings by honoring mine. I also create security by avoiding incongruity in my feelings, words and actions.
They don’t have to wonder what I’m feeling and thinking if I can find words to express it to them gently. And by sharing with them, I offer an opportunity for them to act with compassion, giving love, as I openly receive what they freely offer. It is so beautiful to be part of this.
So go out there and be perfect- the perfect, authentic you that your children signed up for. Just remember they signed up for the you “in progress” so don’t forget to progress, too.
Happy journey to you.